Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. I had a mate at university who got home pissed at 2am and decided to boil himself an egg. Great idea at the time. But he passed out on the floor, the saucepan boiled dry, and the egg began to combust. When my mate woke up, it was because his whole building was being evacuated because of the billows of rancid egg smoke from his kitchen. See that egg, in your mind’s eye? That’s ARK: Survival Evolved, that is. (more…)

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Developer: Studio Wildcard, Instinct Games, Efecto Studios, Virtual Basement Publisher: Studio Wildcard Release: Out now On: Windows From: Steam Price: 28/ 30/$35 It s a little-known fact that the ARK in ARK: Survival Evolved is in fact short for arsebark . And that s fitting, because that s exactly what its latest DLC, Genesis, is like: a fart. And what a fart. Not an abrupt, spluttering guff, nor an undulating trouser howl that reduces its culprit to ever more contorted grimaces of shame as it continues. No, ARK: Genesis is a proper, merciless, nine-tins-of-beans ripper, unleashed in a crowded lift on a wet Monday morning. I wouldn t be half so childish if the developers hadn’t already made a fortune from pre-orders, or if Genesis wasn’t so bloatedly overpriced. I’d be reasonable, even, if it seemed they had attempted something beautiful and ambitious here and fallen short. But they haven t. After

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